Who Are You in This Season?
Your kids can see it.
Your partner can see it.
Can you?
18 questions. A mirror for your life's invisible patterns.
The treadmill doesn't stop. But you get to choose the speed.
How It Works
The Zombie Score measures three tensions every human navigates — not to judge you, but to show you where your energy goes and whether you chose that shape on purpose.
Presence ↔ Pace
Are you here, fully in the moment? Or are you building something that matters and the momentum is hard to pause? Both are valid. The question is your ratio.
Balcony ↔ Dance Floor
Can you see the system from above — the patterns, the waste, the pressure points? Or are you in it, feeling the music, reading the room? Both perspectives matter.
Margin ↔ Momentum
Do you have space for surprise and experimentation? Or have you built an engine that compounds through consistency? The garden vs. the treadmill when it works.
Discover Your Pattern
Based on how you navigate these three tensions, you will discover one of nine patterns — each with its own gift, trade-off, and an experiment to try this week.
The Sprinter
You're not burned out from bad work. You're burned out from good work that never stops. The engine runs because you run it. The question is what happens when you don't.
The Phantom
You're there. Technically. Your body made it. But the people who love you most can feel the difference between your presence and your attention — and they're not getting both.
The Anchor
Everyone leans on you because you never move. That's your gift. That's also your weight. The people around you feel held — but who's asking how you're doing?
The Gardener
You're present, connected, and there's room to breathe. Life is good. The question nobody's asking you: is good enough keeping you from great?
The Captain
You see the whole board. The engine is running. You're present and the system works. Just make sure the people inside it feel like family — not crew.
The Lighthouse
You see everything clearly. You illuminate the room. People come to you when they're lost. The question is when you're going to stop watching from the rock and get in the boat.
The Navigator
You see the map, you're moving fast, and you've got room to adjust. Just make sure the people in your life aren't starting to feel like waypoints on a route you're already running.
The Explorer
Life is an adventure and you're fully in it. The energy is real. So is this: someone in your life is quietly doing the invisible work of maintaining everything you've started.
The Compass
Your tensions are balanced. That sounds like a win. The harder question — is it balance you chose, or balance that happened because you haven't committed deeply enough to anything to create a real lean?
You'll see yourself in one of these. The assessment takes 4 minutes to tell you which one.
Knowing your pattern is the start. Your Quarter is where you write down what matters this season. The three tensions give you the lanes. The quarter gives you the deadline.
You are never done. The season keeps turning.
Q2 2026
Your Quarter
Put the phone down after dinner
Phone in the kitchen drawer by 7pm
Mar: Did this maybe half the time. Better on weeks I wasn't traveling.
One family meeting per month
Actually sit down and ask: what's working?
Protect one unplanned afternoon per week
No activities. No errands. See what happens.
Mar: Pulled it off twice. Felt weird. Good weird.
What I'm working on · How I'll know · Notes · Score
Included free with your assessment results.
My daughter called me a zombie.
Not the brain-eating kind. The other kind — the one who's physically in the room but mentally somewhere else. The one who says “uh-huh” while scrolling. The one who's there but not there.
That word broke something open. Not because I was doing anything wrong — but because the right things can make you a zombie too. The treadmill exists for all of us. Whatever your situation, the pattern is the same: you start running for good reasons, and somewhere along the way the running becomes the reason.
This assessment is the mirror that came out of that moment. It won't tell you you're doing it wrong. It will show you the shape of your life right now — and ask whether that shape is the one you'd choose on purpose.
This isn't a quiz you take once. It's a mirror you come back to every season — with the three tensions as your lanes and a quarter as your deadline. A goal not on paper is just a dream.
This isn't therapy. It isn't a diagnosis. It's 18 questions and a mirror — built by a dad, not a doctor. If you're navigating something that needs professional support, please reach out to someone qualified to help.
You are never done. The treadmill is always there. The question is whether you're choosing your speed — and whether the people in your life can feel you next to them.
— Brian Cariveau · Analytics Pitfalls & Principles
Read the full story →The Zombie Score is a free online assessment for anyone struggling with work-life balance, feeling overwhelmed as a parent, or wondering if they are too busy to be present for the people who matter most. Unlike productivity tools or wellness quizzes, this assessment does not prescribe a solution. It shows you the shape of your life right now — where your energy goes across presence, pace, connection, visibility, margin, and momentum — and asks whether that shape is the one you would choose on purpose.
The full profile includes Your Quarter — a place to write down what matters this season that turns the assessment from a one-time quiz into an ongoing personal tool. Set one intention per tension pair, check in with yourself monthly, score yourself honestly at the end of each quarter, and retake the assessment to see how your pattern has shifted. The three tensions give you the lanes. The quarter gives you the deadline. Writing it down makes it real — a way to become a better version of yourself, one season at a time.
Created by Brian Cariveau — a working parent, analytics leader, author of The Auction Block, and founder of Analytics Pitfalls & Principles — the assessment was born when his six-year-old daughter called him a zombie while he was on his laptop. That word became the foundation for a tool that helps driven, ambitious, well-intentioned people see the invisible patterns that keep them on a treadmill they never chose.
Whether you are a busy professional looking for balance, a parent feeling overwhelmed with kids and commitments, or anyone who suspects the treadmill is running faster than you intended — this 4-minute assessment is a starting point. Not a finish line. A checkpoint.